


A Few Days - Stucky

by French Fry Deity (hurricanetortilllla)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: And in love, Artist Steve Rogers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Black Panther - Freeform, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes-centric, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson, Gay Bucky Barnes, M/M, Memories, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Civil War (Marvel), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Recovered Memories, Scientist Shuri (Marvel), Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Stucky - Freeform, Wakanda, definitely not slow burn, im kidding, minor feels, soft, soft romance, steve/bucky - Freeform, stucky fluff, they get married in like the first paragraph, theyre just
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hurricanetortilllla/pseuds/French%20Fry%20Deity
Summary: Stucky fic set directly after the events of CA:CW, but just before Bucky was frozen again in Wakanda. Steve convinces Bucky to spend a few quiet days with him before being frozen again. Feels, fluff, and soft romance. :')fair warning, though: this is like 100% cliches, I'm just,, soft for them
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all about 87% softness/fluff and 13% angst and other characters  
> Anyways I'm not the most experienced writer I'm just a slut for stucky and soft romance :')  
> Thanks for reading k bye

Steve and Bucky stood together in an empty room of Wakanda's main city tower, silence settled between them as they looked out at the city through the clear, floor to ceiling windows as Steve quietly considered the events of last few days. It had only been a few hours since they had arrived in Wakanda upon T'Challa's offer of providing them a safe place to hide out while the world calmed down, and Steve was grateful for the offer of a break before they set out on the run, staying low and quiet until needed.

Only Sam, Bucky and Natasha had accompanied Steve to Wakanda; both Clint and Scott were on house arrest with their families, and Wanda had set out on her own, promising to keep in touch with Steve and do her part not to cause any trouble. Steve wasn't sure where Sam and Natasha were now - they'd branched off shortly after their arrival and he assumed that they had either gone to the rooms T'Challa had appointed them to or had gone to walk around the city.

Either way, Steve was glad to finally be alone with Bucky - no fighting, no running, and no one else to draw their attention to other things aside from each other. And yet despite this, Steve was struggling to find a way to break the silence between them. Amidst the previous days' battles and stress, he'd not really gotten a chance to spend any time on his own with him. And now, finally alone with Bucky and silence resting between them, Steve found himself unsure what to do, what to say. It felt like a world of distance hung between them. There was an air of tension that Steve wasn't sure how to break. Years had gone by, people had changed. _They_ had changed. Bucky was almost an entirely different person, and Steve wasn't sure what the best way was to interact with him now. So the two stood side by side as Steve ran through these thoughts in his head, his arms folded over his chest as Bucky stood near him with his one hand in his pocket, the remains of his left arm still hanging out with loose wires and bits of metal. 

Steve was going over and considering different ways to start up a conversation when Bucky suddenly did it for him, his voice cutting through the silence.

“I’ve decided to go under again,” he said calmly, in a neutral tone and not looking up from the view out the window.

Steve blinked at the sound of Bucky's voice, turning to look at him as he registered Bucky's words. He nodded slowly. "I know. I heard you and T'Challa talking about the cryopod on the jet." Bucky turned his head to meet Steve's gaze and nodded.

"Yeah," Bucky said, looking away again. Steve saw his eyebrows furrow and his cold eyes drop down to gaze blankly at the city directly below them. "It's for the best, until they can pull HYDRA out of my head."

Steve nodded understandingly as he, too, turned to look back out the windows to the quiet city. "How soon are you planning to go under?" Steve asked after a beat of silence.

Bucky shrugged. "T'Challa's having the cryopod prepped now. He said it would take a few days, though."

"A few days," Steve repeated softly, thoughtfully. He'd known Bucky was going to be frozen again until a solution was found for him, but hadn't been sure when that would take place. A feeling of relief settled over him upon learning that he wouldn't have to give Bucky up again as soon as he'd feared. Even if it was only a few days, Steve would take anything he could get.

"Yeah," Bucky said, his voice quiet and his tone not matching up with Steve's relief. Rather, Bucky sounded resentful about the amount of time between then and being frozen again. "T'Challa said it couldn't be any sooner." 

Steve turned to look at him with a cocked head and quietly studied Bucky's face. That face, the face that he still remembered so clearly, so vividly from his past, the only lasting difference settled in his eyes. Their old gentleness and warmth and long since been lost, now replaced with a hard, icy stare even during the occasional periods when Steve felt like the old Bucky was mostly back. "You don't want to stay awake?" 

Bucky sighed heavily through his nose. "I don't know, Steve.." he said, voice growing quieter. "I'm finally getting more of my memories back and finding myself again, and I want that, but.. I'm still dangerous. And there's a lot of civilians here."

"You're not dangerous," Steve said, unknowingly slipping into his firmer, yet still gentle 'Captain voice', as his friends had so fondly dubbed it in the past. "HYDRA is."

Bucky let out another sigh and looked up at Steve, raising his eyebrows in apparent indication as he huffed, "Exactly. HYDRA's still in my head. The winter soldier is still underneath everything, he's always there, pushing for control. If he gets it back.." Bucky trailed off and looked back out the window at the calm, glistening city, letting the heavy silence finish his sentence for him. Steve frowned.

"It's only a couple of days," he murmured, reaching up to place his hand on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky looked down at Steve's hand resting above the broken metal with a blank expression, carefully not betraying any semblance of emotion. "And we can spend them together. I'll be there for you, Buck. It'll be okay." 

Bucky raised his eyes to meet Steve's again. They held each other's gaze for a moment and Steve searched Bucky's cold eyes, trying to understand what went on behind them before Bucky looked away and drew in a breath.

"Can you promise me something, Steve?"

Steve nodded quickly and without hesitation. "Anything."

"If something happens, if I lose control.. Promise me you won't let me hurt anyone." Bucky's voice was low and more vulnerable than Steve had heard in all the days since he'd gotten him back.

"I promise," Steve agreed, nodding again and giving Bucky's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Bucky looked up again. "No matter what? Will you do whatever necessary to stop me?" He paused to firmly hold Steve's gaze for a moment and Steve felt a deep worry settle in his heart at the way Bucky was looking at him. "Would you put the Winter Soldier down if you can't get Bucky back?"

"Bucky.." Steve frowned at how easily and calmly Bucky said those words that Steve had been dreading, yet somehow still fully expecting. "It won't come to that." 

"You can't be sure," Bucky said insistently, his eyes hard and cold but his expression showing his worry and expectation. "Promise me, Steve, please. I need your word. I can't hurt anyone anymore."

Steve swallowed. He didn't want to think about the worst case scenario. He just wanted Bucky back, he wanted a quiet couple of days, he wanted a break. But Bucky was lost and scared and was _trusting_ him. Bucky knew full well what Steve's word meant once he gave it and Steve couldn't let him down. Steve nodded slowly. "Alright. You have my word, Buck. If.. something happens, I won't let you hurt anyone. I promise."

"Thank you," Bucky said quietly, earnestly.

Steve went quiet, gazing into Bucky's silver eyes for a moment. They held each other's gaze before Steve stepped closer to Bucky, acting on impulse and pulling him into a sudden hug. He felt Bucky tense momentarily against him before relaxing again, his one hand slowly wrapping around Steve and resting on his back. Bucky moved to rest his head lightly on Steve's shoulder and Steve closed his eyes, his arms around Bucky holding him tightly. Steve breathed in and reveled in this moment for as long as he could before slowly, reluctantly pulling away. Bucky looked up at him with a slightly softer look to his eyes, his arm still loosely held around Steve's middle, as if he didn't quite want to let him go either.

"A quiet couple of days, just us," was all Bucky said after a beat of silence, as if reminding him and trying to change the subject back to a nicer one from previously. Steve smiled lightly as he nodded and Bucky reciprocated the smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. 

"Yeah," Steve said, mind still swimming with so many unspoken things, so many wishes and past regrets. Maybe he'd still have time, he thought to himself as he gazed into Bucky's wintery eyes. "It'll be nice."

Bucky nodded and resumed his gaze back out the window, his arm slipping from around Steve as silence settled between them again.

* * *

"Bucky. Steve. Are you busy?"

The two in question turned at T'Challa's voice, the first noise to break the silence between them since their conversation had ended. Bucky nodded politely in greeting and Steve turned away from the window to face him.

"No, do you need us for something?" Steve asked as T'Challa stepped over to them, shaking his head.

"I'm only here to retrieve Bucky for my sister," He said before quickly elaborating when both men frowned in question. "Sorry. If it's alright with you, Bucky, she would like to take a few initial brain scans so she can start working on assisting you. She's very interested in your case and has taken it upon herself as a personal challenge to find a solution for you.”

Steve watched silently as Bucky nodded with a light shrug. “Sure. Anything that might help.”

T'Challa nodded, beckoning for the two to follow him as he lead them through the light halls of the building and into the bright lab in the tower, calling to the princess Shuri as they stepped through the doors. Shuri appeared shortly after T'Challa called her to greet them, cheerfully introducing herself before taking Bucky's arm and leading him away around a corner. Bucky was surprisingly receptive to the young woman, silently letting her lead him by the arm and out of sight to somewhere else in the lab.

Steve moved to follow them, but turned when T’Challa said his name and lightly caught his arm.

“I’ve been meaning to speak to you alone,” T’Challa said, glancing at Bucky and Shuri's retreating forms. "About Bucky."

"I'll be responsible if anything happens with him," Steve said almost on impulse, predicting T'Challa's next words. "I'll keep him from hurting anyone."

T’challa nodded, slowly, still looking back to where Shuri and Bucky had disappeared. “I'm not questioning that. And I’m not particularly worried, otherwise I would have insisted on further precautions for the next few days, and I certainly would not have let him alone with my sister. But regardless, he’s still unstable, and very lost in the battle within himself. He fears himself, which in itself can be dangerous and is only amplified by his... condition.” T’Challa paused, searching Steve’s face before continuing. “So I’m just telling you now and I hope you understand; if he does lose control at any point and it gets out of hand, I will do whatever necessary to protect my people. I cannot be expected to spare his life over the lives of those in my city."

“I understand,” Steve confirmed, nodding briefly and not quite meeting T'Challa's dominating gaze. “But it won’t come to that.”

T’Challa pursed his lips and sighed, stepping back and moving to walk away. “For his sake, I hope you are correct.”

Steve watched him walk away before looking down and letting out a breath, scratching his neck. Doubt gnawed at the back of his brain after T'Challa's words, but he shook himself lightly and reminded himself that things would be fine. There was no need to worry, he thought to himself as he turned to find and join Bucky and Shuri. After all, Bucky had been outwardly stable for a few days now and in any case, he’d be there for Bucky. Till the end of the line, right?

Steve was saved from his own anxieties by the sound of Bucky’s voice coming from a secluded section of the lab. He followed the familiar sound and rounded a corner to find Bucky sitting stiffly on an observation table, looking straight ahead and answering Shuri’s occasional questions as she messed with the broken remains of his prosthetic arm. Bucky looked up when Steve entered the room and his eyes focused again.

“I thought you were down here for brain scans,” Steve said curiously, looking at Shuri.

“The princess offered to take down the wires and sharp bits of my arm,” Bucky explained and Shuri chuckled.

“Well, wouldn’t exactly be ideal to have you walking around with broken metal sticking out of your shoulder,” She said, not looking up from Bucky’s arm. “And this is only temporary if you want. I can easily make you a new arm like your last one. Well, it'd be a bit better, of course.”

Steve noted a faint paling of Bucky’s face and frowned slightly.

“No, thank you, your highness,” Bucky said, looking down. “I don’t need a new one right now.”

Shuri nodded. “I understand. And please, call me Shuri.”

Bucky nodded lightly before looking back up at Steve. “What were you and T’Challa talking about?”

Steve shrugged and stepped forward to lean on the edge of the observation table near where Bucky sat. “Plans for the rest of us,” he lied, guilt tugging at his gut in an immediately response but he swallowed it down. “Can’t stay here forever, unfortunately.”

“Mm,” Bucky hummed and nodded thoughtfully. “Where will you go?”

“Not sure yet,” Steve admit. “We'll move around and stay quiet, and we likely won’t be returning to America anytime soon.”

Shuri chuckled again and both Steve and Bucky looked at her in question. “Sorry,” she said, “it’s just - Captain America can’t return to America. I don't mean to mock you, it's just.. ironic.”

Steve rose an eyebrow before letting out a light huff of a laugh. “It is, isn’t it?”

Shuri chuckled again before stepping back from Bucky’s shoulder and nodding to it. “All done, for now. I‘ll make a fitted cover for it, since the metal is still a bit rough at the edges.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said earnestly and Shuri nodded, smiling.

“I’ll also take a look at your brain scans later tonight,” she added, stepping away and pointedly picking up a tablet that had the colorful images of a scanned brain on the screen. “See if there’s anything we can do for you before you go under. Until then, T'Challa told me to show you where your rooms are, so come on then."

Bucky silently hopped off the table and the two men obediently followed her out of the lab and down the halls as she began a running commentary to them about the city.

"We try to keep a mix of rural in the city along with our tech advancements," she was explaining as she walked, using her hands to emphasize her words while she spoke. "We value our roots. There's a marketplace on a street near this tower every day, mostly outdoor vendors selling homemade food and handmade items - clothes, baskets and such."

Bucky looked at Steve as Shuri continued to talk and Steve only shrugged, smiling in quiet bemusement.

"Alright, here we are," Shuri said after another few moments of walking, stopping outside of a door identical to the others they'd passed and pressing buttons on a nearby keypad to open it. "Two bedrooms, one bathroom, a fully stocked kitchen and a balcony." She stepped back to let them walk in and look around. "Feel free to pester my brother if you need anything else."

Steve turned to her and smiled as Bucky went about exploring the rooms. "This'll be fine, thank you."

Shuri nodded as she turned to leave. "Sure thing," she hummed, waving goodbye as she began making her way back down the hall.

Steve waved in return before stepping all the way inside the room, letting the door close behind him as he looked around.

The rooms were pristine and white with large, clear windows lining the far wall and a sliding glass door leading out to a small balcony. A long sofa lined the wall adjacent to the door with a blank television screen directly across from it, and a low coffee table in the center of the room. Steve noticed that their bags had already been brought to the room and left for them on the floor, the only things out of place in the perfectly kept rooms.

Steve looked up to find Bucky standing at the balcony door, pushing it open and stepping outside to lean on the railing as a gentle breeze brushed through his dark hair. 

"This is nice," Steve said, mostly to himself as he stepped into one of the bedrooms. A single queen sized bed took up most of the space with two nightstands on either side of it, both housing small light fixtures. He continued through the bedroom to the connected bathroom, which was also attached to the second bedroom to create a loop through the apartment. The bathroom was just as nice as the rest of the place - fully stocked with toiletries, towels and high tech touch pad panels that Steve was more than a little intimidated by, slightly worried that he wouldn't be able to figure out how to turn the shower on.

Steve stepped back out into the main room, slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the hook near the door before turning to look at Bucky still standing quietly outside. The sun had begun to set in a display of bright colors and the direction of their rooms provided a near perfect view of it.

Steve walked over and stepped outside to join Bucky, looking out at the backlit city. “It’s been a while, huh?” He said after a moment, meeting Bucky’s gaze when he turned to look at him in question. “Since we had this much quiet time to ourselves. Just you and me.”

Bucky’s eyes softened and he looked away again. “Yeah. Since before the war.”

Steve nodded and stepped over to lean against the railing next to Bucky as he asked softly, “How much do you remember?”

Bucky was quiet for a moment. "I think I remember most of the war before I fell,” he said slowly. “And various events leading up to it. Those memories are more broken and there's only a few solid ones, but.. they’re all of you, I think.”

Steve felt his cheeks flush. “Are they.. good memories? Of me?”

“Yeah.” A faint smile graced Bucky’s lips and Steve's heart fluttered in his chest.

Steve wondered if he was going to continue, to elaborate, but only a light silence fell between them. Steve gazed out at the sunset, mulling again over the last few days and thinking of a way to break the silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, the silences between them rarely were, but Steve wanted to keep hearing Bucky’s voice. It had been so long, and he’d been so quiet these past couple days, Steve found himself regularly grabbing at any opportunity to hear his voice, always searching for ways to maintain conversations.

Steve looked over at him and studied his face. It was outwardly relaxed, but he saw Bucky’s jaw tensing every so often, his brow furrowing faintly and his eyes were still sharp and cold, staring out but not really seeing.

“What’s it like in your head?” Steve asked quietly after a moment, curious but wondering if he was stepping too far into uncomfortable territory when Bucky took a while to respond.

“It’s loud,” he said eventually, blinking and looking at his one hand resting on the railing. “There are two people. They’re always fighting for control. Bucky’s had it for a while now, but he’s tired and the other one, the winter soldier, he’s.. he’s always right behind him. He’s mapping escape routes in every room we enter. Looking around for things to use as weapons in case a situation calls for it. Sizing new people up, planning the most efficient way to.. to eliminate them, if necessary. Bucky has to suppress every instinct, every urge that the soldier and the conditioning brings up. And under all that, Bucky just wants his memories back, but the winter soldier wants his mind wiped again." Bucky paused and gazed out at the darkening sky before whispering, "It’s so loud.”

Steve frowned sympathetically, worried for Bucky but knowing he could never really understand. Bucky was opening up, though, and didn't seem bothered by it so Steve spoke again, hoping he could keep this going for a little while. “You.. make it seem like you’re not quite one or the other right now, though. Like they’re both in there and you’re just watching them?”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m something of both of them, I think. Bucky is mostly in control, but I’m still not.. what Bucky was. I’m a mix of Bucky’s old wishes, but I still have the soldier’s conditioning. I also want to find Bucky’s memories, but sometimes I just want the soldier’s silence back, too. There’s fighting within their fighting, I guess."

“I see now, why you wanted to be frozen again so soon,” Steve said softly.

Bucky nodded and shrugged again lightly. “I can’t trust my mind. It’s always unreliable how strong Bucky’s hold will be over the soldier each day, each minute, and how long Bucky can stay on top. I don’t want the winter soldier to get control again but the fighting never stops, sometimes he gets closer to pushing Bucky away, and..” he looked up at Steve, icy eyes thawing into an expression of fear and loss for a brief flash of a moment. “And I’m scared, Steve.” He sounded almost confused at that realization. “I’m scared of what he’ll do if he wins again.”

"Hey," Steve said gently, wanting to reach up and touch Bucky's face but not sure if that would be welcome or not, so he settled for placing his hand on Bucky's shoulder again. "It'll be okay, Buck. You'll be okay."

Bucky looked at him for a long moment before he sighed and looked back out at the fading colors of the sunset. Steve dropped his hand from Bucky's shoulder, moving to lean against the railing and let the now familiar silence settle between them yet again. Steve didn't try to break it again, only quietly thought about all that Bucky had just told him, realizing that he still knew so little about what Bucky had to deal with, about what really went on behind those cold, dark eyes.

Moments passed until the sun had nearly disappeared and a chill breeze prompted Steve to quietly return inside, moving to step back through the door with a brief glance at Bucky. He didn't acknowledge Steve's departure, still resting on the railing and staring blankly out. He'd retreated back into his head, as Steve had learned to recognize by the staring but not really seeing, and how he went so silent that Steve could see his chest rise and fall in a breath, but even his serum-enhanced hearing couldn't detect any sound indicating that Bucky was actually breathing. Steve decided to leave him be, stepping all the way back through the doorway. 

Steve walked over and idly picked up his bag from the floor, moving it into the nearest bedroom and setting it on the bed just so he had something to do with himself for a moment. He returned to the main room just in time to catch Bucky walk silently back into the apartment as well, carefully pushing the sliding door closed behind him. Steve walked over to turn a tall lamp on in the darkening room as Bucky retreated to the farthest corner of the couch and settled down, eyes remaining cold and distant.

"Are you alright?" Steve asked quietly, walking over to Bucky. Steve had noticed these last few days that Bucky always found the darkest corners of any given space to retreat to when possible, and always wondered what was going through his mind as he mechanically moved through the rooms he entered.

Bucky blinked and a slight warmth returned to his irises for a moment. His eyes focused on Steve and he nodded silently, watching as Steve moved to sit next to him, leaving a number of inches between them. Bucky had come back out of his head, but had gone back to his usual quiet, calculating demeanor, Steve noted to himself as Bucky watched him and then moved his eyes to survey the room around them.

Silence settled between them again, again, again. Steve folded his hands in his lap, looking down at them as he wondered what to do next. It had been nearly seventy years since he’d really gotten the chance to spend time with Bucky outside of a battle and despite both of them having spent most of that time frozen, Bucky had changed so much..

Steve had realized with a pang of guilt that he’d hoped to get the old Bucky back. He’d secretly hoped that the running and fighting would die down and they’d sit together and Steve would find himself back with more or less the same man he’d known since childhood. But rather, he’d been met with a quiet, confused, broken man that went through multiple periods of different moods or personalities. It had been a slight shock to Steve, and he'd found himself unsure what to say or how to act around Bucky when they were left with silences to fill and no fighting or running to fill it for them anymore.

Occasionally, though, Bucky did appear more like what Steve remembered. Cracking light jokes and loosely participating in banter between Steve and Sam, even displaying a smile or brief laugh every once in a while on their journey to Wakanda. Other times he was more volatile, responding defensively to any unexpected stimulus and snapping at people like Sam prying at him. But most times, he was like this, quiet and vacant. His mind was somewhere else in his head or he was just quietly observing, and Steve wished he knew how to reliably coax him back out from wherever it was that he went.

“Do you really think they can get HYDRA out of my head?”

Steve was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of Bucky’s voice and he looked over at him, registering the question. “I don’t know,” he admit, shrugging lightly and watching Bucky's face. “But T’Challa seemed confident, and so did Shuri. I wouldn’t give up hope just yet.”

Bucky sighed heavily and leaned his head back on the sofa cushion, looking up at the white ceiling that was warmed to a light orange by the lamplight. "Sometimes I hope that the leftover programming and training will go away if they can get the soldier out, but at the same time..” Bucky’s eyes closed and he looked more tired to Steve than ever. “I don't know if I'll know how to function without it. Without the programmed responses to stimuli. All I'll have after that, is.. a few detached memories and a voice in my head."

"You'll have me," Steve pointed out softly, almost on reflex, and Bucky turned his head to look at him and he continued. "Look, we don't know how much you'll lose when they get HYDRA out of your head, but I'll be here. No matter what. Till the end of the line, right?"

Bucky blinked and Steve noticed the faintest beginnings of a smile tugging at his mouth, of recognition at those simple words, every single time. "Till the end of the line." The one constant between them. 

Steve nodded and smiled, shifting his body to face Bucky and rest his head on his hand. "Your memories," Steve started after a moment of silence, hoping again to maintain a conversation before Bucky mentally pulled himself away again. "How many do you actually have?"

"A few," Bucky said thoughtfully, reaching up to absently push a strand of his hair out of his face. "Some of them are foggy. Most of them, actually. It's like.. pieces are missing. Some parts don't add up. But the clearer ones are.. nice. They keep me grounded." 

Steve hummed softly. "Tell me about one."

Bucky's eyes clouded again as he thought carefully. "I remember... I remember a kiss. I think." He looked over at Steve again.

Steve smiled. "Yeah? With who?"

Bucky blinked, as if confused by the question. "With you." He said it like it should have been obvious to Steve.

"O-oh?" Steve stared at Bucky in surprise, Bucky’s unexpected words floating over his mind until they suddenly clicked and he rose his eyebrows. "You remember that?" He asked, blinking and feeling his cheeks flush. “We never talked about that, I thought maybe you didn’t remember-“

”I did,” Bucky corrected calmly, steadily holding Steve’s gaze while Steve spluttered and blushed. “I remember, it was late and you’d gotten in a fist fight with someone twice yourself, you were..” Bucky’s eyes suddenly went blank adn again lost focus as he appeared to be searching through his memory. “You were a lot smaller, but still got in a lot of fights. I.. I was always worried about you.”

Steve rose his eyebrows further and couldn’t help but smile reminiscently, though he was at a loss for words. All this time, they had never talked about that night and he’d assumed that Bucky forgot, or didn’t _want_ to remember, but..

"You’d gotten yourself messed up. Your nose was bleeding, and you’d hit your head,” Bucky continued, reciting the memory slowly and furrowing his brow in concentration. “I helped you back to your apartment that night. Our.. apartment?"

Steve nodded and Bucky reciprocated, slowly, as if he were filing that confirmed information away in his mind somewhere, building upon the fragments of his past. "You carried me on your back because I was getting dizzy from my head," Steve added helpfully, smiling lightly at the memory as Bucky continued to nod, slowly.

"You were falling asleep when we got there.. I'd set you on your bed, you sat on the edge and I was standing near you. You said something, and I responded, but I.. but I can't remember." Bucky's brow furrowed deeply in sudden frustration and he looked to the side, eyes glazing over again.

Steve shifted closer. "I had started talking about how you were always there for me, always looking out, and I wished I could do the same for you, or do something to somehow repay you for everything you'd always done for me." Bucky looked up at Steve's words, eyes wider than previously, as if he were trying to acquire and file away this new information through all possible senses before it was gone again. Steve continued with a reminiscent smile. "You smiled at me when I said that. And then you said the cheesiest thing I've heard to date, you said, 'Stevie, just having you in my life each day is more than enough repayment.' Then you sat next to me on that old bed, and.."

"You grabbed my shirt and kissed me," Bucky finished, eyes showing suddenly more spark and life in them than Steve had seen in all of the last few days.

Steve's smile grew and he nodded, looking down as his cheeks flushed a deep red. "I always assumed you didn't remember that. You never brought it up."

"Neither did you," Bucky pointed out. "Bucky thought you didn't remember either."

Steve frowned and looked up, confused. "Bucky..?"

Bucky blinked and he shook his head slightly, like he was shaking something off. "Sorry, I- the memories are detached. They're all Bucky's, and I'm.."

"Not 100% Bucky anymore," Steve finished quietly, tipping his head to the side as he gazed at Bucky.

Bucky looked away. "I'm sorry, Steve, I know you.. I know that you wanted the old Bucky back-"

"No, no, hey," Steve interrupted quickly, wondering briefly how Bucky knew that and if he'd really been so selfish as to make it obvious at any point. "I understand. I do. A lot of things have changed, have happened, and.. I know I can't expect things to be the same anymore. And I don't. I'm just glad you're back at all, Buck. Really."

Bucky swallowed hard and nodded slowly.

"Hey," Steve whispered, sitting up on the sofa and slowly extending his arms. "Come here." Steve didn't advance, though. He waited quietly and let Bucky make the choice, if he wanted to.

Bucky looked up at Steve, and Steve could almost see the hidden battle behind his silver eyes for a moment. Bucky let out a pent up breath through his nose before moving tentatively into Steve's arms, resting his head on Steve's shoulder as Steve gently wrapped his arms around him.

"I remember this," Bucky mumbled after a moment, his arm moving to slowly wrap around Steve as well.

"Yeah?"

Bucky nodded against Steve's shoulder. "You were smaller."

Steve smiled and was mildly surprised to feel Bucky pressing closer, his arm around Steve gripping tightly. "So were you, technically," Steve hummed, one hand rubbing Bucky's back between his shoulder blades.

They sat like that for a while and Steve closed his eyes, holding Bucky and breathing in his scent. It was different from what he remembered from so long ago, but it wasn't bad. He could get used to it. He figured he could get used to nearly anything so long as he still had his Bucky by his side.

"Was that the only time we kissed?" Bucky asked suddenly, referencing the memory from a moment ago.

Steve nodded. "Yeah."

Bucky hummed thoughtfully at that, pulling back from Steve and not meeting his gaze, his eyes lost in thought with himself.

"You know, Buck," Steve started quietly after a moment of silence, tilting his head to try and catch Bucky's eyes again. Bucky looked up at him. "You're spending so much time focusing on old memories, but.. what about making new ones?"

Bucky held Steve's gaze, swallowing as he asked slowly, "What do you mean?"

"I mean.." Steve reached up and gingerly tucked a strand of Bucky's hair behind his ear, gazing at his face in the warm lamplight. Bucky leaned almost subconsciously into Steve's hand brushing over is head. "Can I kiss you?"

Bucky's gaze dropped to Steve's lips in an involuntary response and he remained silent, only nodding slowly after a moment.

Steve smiled and cupped Bucky's face gently with his hand, fingers brushing lightly over Bucky's face as his heart beat heavily in his chest. Bucky's eyes fluttered closed at the contact and he leaned into Steve's hand as Steve pressed forward, catching Bucky's chapped lips in the light, gentle beginnings of a kiss. Bucky's form was still tense against Steve but his lips were soft and warm, and Steve kissed them gently, his hand on Bucky's face tenderly caressing his cheek as Bucky leaned further into him, sighing through his nose. Bucky reached up with his one hand and curled his fingers through Steve's short hair to pull him closer, deepening the kiss and shifting his body to face Steve on the couch.

Moving closer at Bucky's beckoning, Steve kissed him slowly and gently, light stubble brushing against Steve's skin as Steve hummed and pressed even closer to Bucky. Their chests pressed together and Steve wrapped his arm loosely around the other man, holding him close in his arms as their lips moved together in a slow, gentle rhythm. Bucky relaxed just a little into him and Steve held him tight, caressing his cheek and sighing contently through his nose as his heart fluttered in his chest.

A blissful eternity passed before they reluctantly broke away to breathe, their faces still close to each other as they both caught their breath.

Steve, eyes still closed, fondly bumped his forehead against Bucky's and let out a soft breath.

"I like making new memories," Bucky whispered after a moment's silence.

Steve smiled and opened his eyes, pulling back slightly to gaze warmly at Bucky's relaxed, content face. "Yeah?"

Bucky nodded, eyes still closed as his hand slipped from Steve's hair to rest on Steve's chest over his still rapidly beating heart, fingers mapping defined muscles.

Steve gazed at him, watching fondly as he felt Bucky relax just a little further into him. "I've missed you, Buck," Steve murmured, still running his fingers lightly over Bucky's cheek.

Bucky only hummed faintly in response and pressed into Steve's hand, basking in the warmth of Steve's gentle touch. Steve's heart fluttered as he quietly watched Bucky, calmer and more relaxed than Steve had seen him in all the days since he'd found him again. Bucky's eyes were still intently closed as he leaned into Steve's hand still resting over his cheek and suddenly suppressed what Steve assumed was a yawn.

Steve rose his eyebrows. "Have you slept at all recently?" He couldn't help but ask, genuinely curious. He realized this was the first time he'd really seen Bucky close his eyes for longer than a slow blink in all the few days since he'd found him, not counting the times he'd been knocked unconscious against his will.

Bucky opened his eyes at the question, looking up at Steve. "..Not if I can help it."

Steve frowned lightly and brushed his fingertips over Bucky's tense jaw as he gently asked, "Why not?"

"Nightmares," Bucky said, slowly, his hand falling from Steve's chest and back into his lap as he looked away. "And I'm afraid of waking up as.. not Bucky."

"When was the last time you actually slept?"

Bucky thought about it. "Not since Bucky last regained control."

"That's- Buck-" Steve spluttered, frowning in surprise and worry. "That was four days ago!"

Bucky didn't appear concerned as he looked up at Steve, frowning at Steve's worried tone. "I've been made to maintain consciousness for longer than that in the past."

"Bucky.." Steve said softly, sighing and reaching over to touch Bucky's hand. Bucky looked down at it upon feeling the contact. "I know you're worried that you'll lose control, but.. you can't keep this up without sleep either."

Bucky blinked but remained quiet, only turning his hand palm up so his fingers could slowly, loosely intertwine with Steve's.

Steve took the silent invitation and gripped Bucky's hand. "Tell me how I could help, Buck."

"I don't know." Bucky didn't remove his gaze from their intertwined hands. "Just.. don't leave. Please."

"I won't," Steve readily promised, scooting closer so their hips and thighs were pressed together. Bucky didn't move. He'd suddenly retreated back into his head once again and Steve gave his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze as he leaned over to rest his head on Bucky's shoulder, closing his eyes and pressing close. 

Bucky maintained his still posture, but removed his gaze from their hands when he felt the weight of Steve's head resting on him. He looked over at him quietly. Steve's eyes were closed but he was still very much awake, his thumb rubbing calculated circles over Bucky's calloused hand in an attempt to get him to relax with him.

Bucky looked around the room silently. It was quiet and.. cozy, somehow, despite the perfectly clean and organized nature of the room. Bucky almost didn't recognize the feeling at first, it had been so long since he'd felt it. Another feeling came up as well and Bucky frowned to himself, listening to Steve's soft breathing at his shoulder. He felt...

Safe.

Bucky considered this with a perplexed frown, but he wasn't necessarily upset. He wasn't necessarily.. anything, he realized. He just contemplated the feeling from a mental distance, still somewhat surprised to even be feeling much of anything at all after so many years of emptiness. Bucky glanced down at Steve again, reminiscing over their shared kiss from just moments before, and again thinking about the memory of another one from so long ago. The motion of Steve's thumb had slowed to a lazy, half hearted movement over Bucky's skin and Steve's breathing had leveled out. Not quite asleep yet, but close, so Bucky remained entirely, completely still so he wouldn't disturb him even though he wasn't sure if Steve had intended to fall asleep. He wondered if he could fall asleep, too, sitting there with Steve on his shoulder and their hands intertwined loosely in his lap. Part of him hoped he would, but he couldn't be sure if it was Bucky or the Winter Soldier voicing that quiet, subtle desire in his head.

But then the soldier's voice in his head rose up clearly, demanding and pushing Bucky to give in and fall asleep, knowing his guard would fall as soon as he went unconscious. Bucky clenched his jaw and shoved the winter soldier back down, quieting him briefly and silencing any notion of sleep from his mind.

 _No_ , he thought. _You're not getting back control. Not again._

Bucky stared resolutely at the far wall, though he didn't really see it, retreating into his head. He directed his mental attention to replaying some of the clearer memories he had in his mind to keep himself grounded while simultaneously focusing on the weight of Steve at his shoulder, the sound of his calm breathing, the feeling of their hands intertwined together. 

Steve was asleep at that point, and Bucky continued to remain still so as not to wake him. He sighed quietly and focused determinedly on Steve's hand held loosely in his own when the winter soldier again tried to push back in his mind. His fingers tightened around Steve's hand as he clenched his teeth against his own mind.

 _I'll make it through the night_ , Bucky told himself determinedly, steeling himself. He had so far, he could again. He forced the muscles in his back and torso to relax a little as he settled in against the night's invisible battle for another time, Steve's body next to his providing warmth and a calming weight over him. Steve was there for him. Bucky closed his eyes, struggling to remain awake, but forcing himself through the night nonetheless.

(illustration by me! visit my [tumblr](https://astriloquiis-art.tumblr.com/) and [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/astriloquiis/) :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go, chapter one. :) more will be coming soon, comments and kudos are very much appreciated, thanks sm for reading xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congrats on arriving to chapter 2 babey!!  
> This one's just fluff + some friend shenanigans with Sam and Natasha ok enjoy the chapter smell ya later

Steve’s eyes fluttered open and he blinked groggily, reaching up to rub the sleep out of his eyes before looking around with a confused frown. He’d somehow ended up in one of the bedrooms, still fully clothed and lying under the thin white sheets as he glanced around. He had no recollection of moving from the couch the previous night, and as he pushed himself up from the mattress he wondered briefly if Bucky had carried him, no other possibility coming to mind.

But Steve shook his head at that thought as he padded into the bathroom, reminding himself that Bucky only had one arm and was still smaller than him, even if it wasn’t by much. Steve just shrugged to himself for the time being as he washed his face and went through some semblance of his usual morning routine. Normally he’d shower, but he figured he should check on Bucky first.

Steve dried his face and stepped back through the dim bedroom, opening the door and glancing around the main room. Bucky wasn’t readily visible and Steve frowned worriedly until he caught sight of Bucky’s figure sitting out on the balcony. Steve padded over and carefully slid the glass door open, smiling in greeting when Bucky looked up at the sound.

“Good morning,” Steve hummed, closing the door behind him and leaning against it.

Bucky nodded lightly, resuming his gaze out at the city. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” Steve said, stretching his neck out. “Did you, uh.. Well, how did I get into the bedroom? I don’t remember.”

Bucky let out a light chuckle at that and Steve blinked, watching him. “Shuri helped me carry you in there.”

“Shuri? When did she come by?”

“Around ten,” Bucky explained. “She brought up a cover she’d just finished making for my shoulder after you fell asleep on the couch. You were sleeping on that shoulder but I didn’t want to wake you up, so we moved you onto the bed. You’re still a heavy sleeper.”

Steve chuckled at that and ducked his head, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, sorry I fell asleep on you so early last night. You could’ve woken me up.”

Bucky shook his head. “You were tired. It wasn’t an issue.”

Steve hummed and gazed at Bucky for a quiet moment. He seemed at ease, but there was something about the tightness of his jaw, the stillness of his fingers resting in his lap and the darkness under his eyes that denoted something else. “What about you?” Steve asked after a moment, cocking his head. “Did you sleep at all?”

Bucky shook his head. "Didn’t sleep, but I rested."

Steve slowly nodded in understanding as he stepped to lean against the railing, a soft breeze blowing passed him. “For the two years before we found you..” Steve started after a moment, wondering aloud. “What did you do? You must’ve slept at some point.”

“It was different then,” Bucky explained and Steve glanced back over at him. “I don’t know. It took a long time to get to that point, both Bucky and the soldier were suppressed, but then.. When Zemo pulled the Winter Soldier back up, it changed something. They’re both more prominent now, it’s harder to quiet their fighting.”

“Ah.” Steve nodded again, thoughtful. A moment of silence passed before Steve turned and held his hand out to Bucky, nodding towards the door. "Want to go find the others and get some breakfast?"

"There's food here," Bucky said, but took Steve's hand nonetheless and stood up from the chair he’d been sitting in. He'd found that he enjoyed and craved Steve's touch far more than he would've thought.

Steve nodded with a shrug. "You don't want to eat with the others?"

"I prefer the quiet with you," Bucky admitted softly, meeting Steve's warm blue eyes and quietly holding his gaze as Steve cocked his head.

"Alright," Steve conceded with a light smile, stepping closer to Bucky and still holding his hand. "We'll catch up with everyone else later."

Bucky nodded as Steve squeezed his hand once before moving away to push the balcony door back open, walking into the small kitchen to investigate the food supply.

"What do you want for breakfast, Buck?" Steve asked over his shoulder as Bucky walked over to join him from the balcony, peering into the fridge from behind Steve. It appeared to be surprisingly well stocked with familiar items to both of them.

Bucky shrugged. "What did I used to like?"

Steve paused to think. “Pancakes,” he hummed with a nostalgic smile after a moment, pulling out an armful of ingredients from the fridge. “Does that sound good?” Bucky nodded and stepped out of the way as Steve deposited items on the counter before locating some bowls and a pan.

“Blueberry pancakes,” Steve added reminiscently, mixing some of the ingredients in the bowl. “You used to make these for me whenever I was too weak or sick to leave my house. Granted, you always used a premade mix rather than making them from scratch, but they cheered me up."

"I don't remember," Bucky murmured, listening with rapt attention to Steve as he leaned against the counter.

"Maybe it’ll come back to you." Steve turned briefly to smile at Bucky before returning to what he was doing.

Bucky watched him cook in careful silence, shifting to watch Steve confidently flip the pancakes he put on the pan, one after the other to build up two small stacks. It was calming to watch Steve so surely and confidently work through such a mundane task, and Bucky wondered if he'd ever be able to reach that point as well, so calm and at ease. A brief image of the two of them cooking together, side by side in a small, dirty kitchen from some point in their shared past suddenly surfaced in Bucky's mind. He smiled faintly to himself as he quickly filed the new image of a memory away in his head to think about again later.

Bucky blinked and looked up when Steve finally clicked the stove off and turned to face Bucky, two fully prepared plates in his hands.

“I’m no chef,” he started with a smile, sliding one of the plates across the counter to settle in front of Bucky. “But I don’t think these are too bad.”

Bucky looked down at the golden pancakes as Steve grabbed two forks and leaned over to hand one to Bucky. He took the utensil with a soft thank you, waiting a moment for Steve to settle back onto his counter stool and begin eating before joining him.

Bucky felt Steve’s eyes on him after a few moments and he glanced up, mouth full and syrup suddenly dripping down his chin.

Steve chuckled. “Are they good?” He asked as he grabbed a napkin and reached over to dab at Bucky’s face.

Bucky nodded, frowning lightly at Steve’s hand. “Yeah,” he confirmed, choosing to ignore it and look back up as Steve leaned back. “They’re good.”

Steve grinned at that and Bucky offered a light smile in return before going back to his food, idly cutting bites out of the pancakes and leaning his elbow on the countertop.

They finished eating in relative silence together and Bucky quietly took his plate over to the sink once he was done, haphazardly and slowly washing the dish with only one arm. Steve noticed the dilemma when he brought his own plate to the sink and found Bucky growing increasingly frustrated as he tried to dry the dish with a towel while it slid around the counter, lacking a second hand to hold it in place.

Steve chuckled and reached over to place a hand on Bucky's arm, causing him to stop his fruitless efforts and look up. "I've got it," Steve offered, moving to take the plate that Bucky surrendered with a defeated sigh.

Bucky stepped back and wiped his wet hand on his shirt as Steve idly cleaned up the dishes.

"I'm going to shower real quick after this," Steve said after a minute, drying off the last bowl that he'd used. "And then we can go explore the city? Maybe meet up with Nat and Sam for lunch or something?"

Bucky nodded slowly, glancing out the window above the sink at the large city. "There's a lot of people. Civilians."

Steve frowned lightly before appearing to understand and he set down the towel he was holding, leaning on the counter and tipping his head to meet Bucky's eyes. "You're worried?"

Bucky shrugged. "Not sure. It's just.. unfamiliar environments. I don't know what to expect."

"Ah." Steve nodded understandingly, reaching up to tuck a strand of Bucky's hair behind his ear and then moving to cup Bucky's cheek. "Look, it'll be okay. If it helps, I think T'Challa probably wouldn't even let you out of this room if he didn't think it was safe for you to be out with me. And he let you alone with his little sister yesterday, that's gotta mean something."

Bucky nodded slowly, eyes clouded in thought.

Steve gazed at Bucky for a moment before using his hand to gently coax Bucky's head up. Bucky looked up at him and Steve leaned forward to lightly kiss his lips for a brief moment. Bucky sighed, chasing after Steve when Steve pulled away a moment later and smiled at him, caressing his face. "Look," Steve hummed gently and Bucky opened his eyes. "You don't have to say yes or no yet. I'm going to go get cleaned up and you can think about it some more."

"Alright," Bucky said, watching as Steve walked away and disappeared into one of the bedrooms.

Bucky reached up to touch his lips with his fingertips, that soft, warm feeling settling in his chest yet again. A beat of silence passed before Bucky heard a shower turn on and he blinked before he pushed himself away from the counter, moving to pick up the one sleeved jacket he'd left on the coffee table the previous night as he listened absently to the distant running water.

He pulled the jacket on, struggling a bit with only one arm, per usual. He'd get used to it, he knew, but it had still only been a little over a couple days since his arm was blasted off and it was taking a bit of effort to adapt. He sighed in mild frustration upon realizing for the first time that he couldn't zip up the jacket without two hands. That also brought him to the realization that the previous night had been the first time he’d taken the jacket off in a few days.

Bucky gave up on the jacket and settled for looking in the mirror mounted on the wall and running his fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face as effectively as one could with no means of tying it back. Still patiently waiting for Steve, he moved back over to the kitchen and opened the fridge, holding it ajar with his hip as he looked at the contents for a moment. Nothing appealed to him so he kicked the fridge door shut and leaned back against the counter to idly look around the room.

Lost in aimless thoughts, it didn’t feel very long to Bucky before Steve re-emerged from the bedroom, dressed in a fresh white t-shirt and a darker pair of jeans.

Steve looked at Bucky and smiled as he visually took note of the jacket he'd put on. "You coming out with me?" He asked hopefully, pulling his own jacket from the hook by the door to shrug it on.

"Yeah, I'll come for a bit," he nodded, and Steve’s smile widened at his words.

"You didn't want to change your clothes?" Steve asked as he stepped back and began making his way to the door, Bucky at his heels. "You've been wearing that for.. a couple days now."

Bucky blinked and looked down at his dark combat uniform before shrugging. "I left my only other clothes behind. There wasn't exactly time to pack much."

"Oh," Steve said, opening the door out to the hall and holding it open for Bucky. "Do you want something else? We could go find something while we're down in the city." He smiled. "Shopping trip."

Bucky responded with a faint smile of his own and nodded as they stepped into the hallway. "Sure. Shopping trip."

They walked through the quiet halls of the tower, encountering only a few others as they reached the elevators. They waited in silence for a moment before stepping in and pressing the button indicating the ground level. The elevator only made one extra stop on the way down, and both Steve and Bucky looked up to see who was waiting to join them.

"Oh! Hey, guys," Natasha said, greeting them with a surprised smile as she stepped into the elevator between them.

"Hey, Nat," Steve hummed, "You going down to walk around the city?"

Natasha nodded. "Yeah, just got back from talking to T'Challa. He gave me these to distribute to the rest of you." She reached down to her belt and handed both Steve and Bucky a small, jingling pouch. "It's Wakandan money to spend around the city."

Steve took the pouch and peeked inside while Bucky just pocketed his.

"I tried to refuse, since he's already done so much for us- letting us stay here while the world calms down, taking Bucky in, all that," Nat continued, looking at Steve who nodded. "But he insisted, and I felt weird refusing an offer from a soon-to-be king, so.."

Steve hummed. "His hospitality really has been admirable, considering we're all technically criminals now."

Natasha lightly bumped Bucky in the side with her elbow. "I think he just feels bad for almost killing our Bucky here."

Bucky shot her a brief, unamused look and Steve shrugged as the elevator doors opened and they stepped out.

"Anyways," Natasha hummed as they walked towards the large glass doors to the outside together. "There's a pouch for Sam as well, but if we can't find him in the next fifteen minutes I say we split it amongst ourselves and never tell him."

Bucky let out an unexpected snort of a laugh and Steve sighed audibly at the two of them, making Nat roll her eyes and nudge Bucky again with her shoulder.

"Right, we can't do that, Mr. Do The Right Thing is here," she grinned and Steve's eyebrows rose when Bucky let out a full laugh at that.

"Can't do anything fun around him, huh?" Bucky chuckled and Natasha nodded, laughing with him.

"Don't know if lying to Sam is the definition of _fun_ ," Steve said, but he didn't really mind their banter as he watched Bucky laugh, his head tipping back so the sunlight danced across his face as they began to walk aimlessly down the streets of the city.

Steve was pulled from his shameless staring as a familiar voice suddenly appeared behind them.

"Sorry, who's lying to Sam?"

The three turned their heads in unison as Sam jogged up next to them on Steve's left, eyebrow raised.

"No one," Natasha hummed calmly, tossing Sam his pouch and earning herself a discrete look of approval from Steve.

Sam yelped and fumbled with the sudden object thrown at him. "What's this?" He asked once he had a secure hold on it, frowning at it and looking inside.

"Money," Steve said. "We're going to walk around the main marketplace for a bit, you coming?"

"Got nothing better to do," Sam shrugged, pocketing the pouch of coins and putting both hands in his pockets as the four fell into step with each other and wandered around the quiet city of Wakanda.

* * *

"What about this one?" Natasha asked, holding up a plum colored shirt of thin fabric to Bucky and looking at him questioningly.

The four stood around one of the clothing vendors in the city's outdoor market, Natasha having taken it upon herself to find Bucky some new clothes as soon as she heard that he needed some.

Bucky reached out to touch the fabric, feeling it between his fingers. "It's soft," he said, nodding. "I like the color."

"He approves," Natasha nodded, thrusting the shirt in Steve's direction.

Steve took it with a good natured sigh, adding it to the other clothing items Natasha and Bucky had picked out so far, as he had apparently been dubbed the shopping cart for this trip.

"I bet he'd look _great_ in this, guys."

The three turned warily in the direction of Sam's teasing voice and found him holding up a long, frilly dress and smirking.

Steve only rose a mildly disapproving eyebrow at Sam's games, Bucky's face fell into a familiar glare, and Natasha reached out to lightly slap Sam’s arm in a friendly reprimand before turning back to Bucky and muttering something to him in Russian.

Both Sam and Steve watched in confusion as Bucky snickered at Natasha's words, responding back to her in Russian with a glint of a smile.

Sam sighed and looked at Steve with the familiar expression of 'they're talking about us, aren't they?' which had happened relatively often on the journey to Wakanda and was, apparently, to be a recurring theme in their group activities.

Steve's lips curled in a chuckle. "Come on, guys," he said to Nat and Bucky. "You're upsetting Sam again."

Sam huffed and Bucky fell silent as he turned at Steve's voice, a smile still dancing on his lips from his secret banter with Natasha and Steve's expression softened. Bucky's smile had reached his eyes. This event was so rare that it caught Steve off guard and everything around him seemed to fall away for a moment. A long moment, apparently.

“Steve? Hello?"

Steve was blinked out of his thoughts by Natasha's voice and her hand waving in front of his eyes, causing him to pull his head back and frown at her.

"Sorry," he said and Natasha rose an eyebrow, smirking knowingly.

"You good?"

"Yeah," Steve said, mentally shaking himself before looking down at the pile of clothes in his arms. "Are you guys done? We should pay for these."

“Oh, yeah.” Natasha nodded and moved to take a few of the items from him as they both went to pay for them. When they left the vendor a moment later with a full bag in Steve's hand and a slightly less heavy pouch of coins, they looked around for Sam and Bucky.

"They abandoned us?" Natasha asked with a chuckle as they looked through the milling crowd.

Steve squinted under the sun and looked around. "Nope," he said, pointing to two figures a few market vendors down. "There they are."

The two were standing and looking at an object and Sam appeared to be explaining something to Bucky, who looked so royally disinterested with his vacant stare that Steve could nearly feel Sam's frustration emanating through the distance between them and he smiled in amusement.

Natasha chuckled and started walking over. "I'm surprised they didn't kill each other while we weren't watching them."

Steve huffed out a laugh. "As much as they fight and have this weird rivalry.. I think they're growing on each other. It's nice."

"Yeah, nice to not have to physically drag them away from gutting each other every few minutes," Natasha snorted and Steve only sighed in response just before they reached the other two.

They continued wandering through the market together, stopping as a group whenever one of the four’s interest was caught by something. They all engaged in light, friendly banter as they walked and Steve found himself feeling incredibly content. It felt like it had been so long since he’d had the chance to just experience a day of quiet, normal activities with his friends with nothing much to worry about in regards to battles and being on the run. It was nice to feel like a civilian for a day.

Steve smiled to himself as they all walked together and he gazed quietly at each of his friends. Natasha kept pointing at anything she saw with the image of a bird on it, teasingly comparing them all to Sam and making Bucky snicker every time while Sam rolled his eyes. Steve’s gaze settled on Bucky and his heart fluttered every time he smiled, wondering how it was that Natasha could make him laugh so easily and so freely. Steve sighed lightly as he moved closer to Bucky and slipped his hand into Bucky’s open palm at his side. Bucky blinked and briefly glanced down at their hands but didn’t say anything about it as he loosely wrapped his fingers around Steve’s hand as well.

* * *

“Thank you,” Steve said with a smile to the woman handing him the last of the food that he and the others had ordered. Sam and Bucky had already gotten their food and sat down at one of the small picnic tables in the courtyard.

Steve sat down at the table nearest them where Natasha had already settled, pushing Nat’s lunch over to her as he looked over at Sam and Bucky.

“Listen man,” Sam was saying in an exasperated tone, “I learned this yesterday from the woman who _makes_ these. Every day. You gotta dip it in the sauce.”

“Don’t like the sauce,” Bucky said, pulling his hand away from Sam thrusting the dish of orange colored sauce to him.

“Did you even try it?”

“Yes.”

“Putting your finger in it and then licking your finger does not count,” Sam insisted as Bucky glared at him. “Which is gross, by the way, I saw you do it. Dip the roll.”

“No.”

Sam looked up to the sky in exasperation. “But it’s just bread without it!”

“It has filling,” Bucky mumbled through a large, unsauced bite of said roll.

“Mostly bread.”

“I like bread.”

Steve watched as Sam’s arm bolted out and dumped the sauce over Bucky’s roll, laughing triumphantly for a moment. The moment didn't last long, though, as Bucky’s eyes suddenly flashed in a dangerous glower and, without missing a beat, he dropped the sauced roll and reached over to snatch one of Sam’s rolls. Sam yelped at him in surprise but Bucky took a comically large bite out of it before Sam could grab it back, and then proceeded to chew it loudly while looking right at Sam. Steve sighed. He felt like he was watching two toddlers that had been deprived of their afternoon nap, and rather turned to engage in an adult conversation with Natasha.

“How do you do it, Nat?” He asked her, ignoring the arguing at the table next to them and letting out the question he’d had on his mind all day.

Natasha looked up from her food, eyebrows raised in question. “Do what?” She asked through a full mouth.

“Make Bucky laugh so easily,” he explained, resting his arms on the table and choosing to ignore Natasha's less than decent table manners for the moment. “You’ve been doing it all day.”

“Ah.” Natasha smiled in understanding as she swallowed and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. You gotta.. stick to things he's familiar with, I guess. Otherwise he'll shut down pretty quick.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” Steve said, looking back over at him and Sam. The two had started a mini food fight, flicking crumbs at each other and dodging disposable utensils, both shooting glares that would send most people running for the hills despite the childish nature of their actions.

Natasha followed Steve’s gaze and her face broke into an amused grin. “Speaking Russian is a plus with him, too. He particularly likes talking shit about Sam.”

Steve let out a huff of a laugh, still watching Bucky throw plastic forks at Sam's chest with deadly accuracy, but fortunately they only bounced off. “So that's how you do it. Guess I'm out of luck," he chuckled to himself.

Natasha turned back to look at Steve, sipping her drink thoughtfully before reaching out to touch his arm. “He’s comfortable with you, Steve,” she told him earnestly when he looked at her, as if she’d known the unspoken worries in his head. “More so than the rest of us.”

“How do you know?” Steve asked, studying her face with a light frown.

“Trust me,” Natasha hummed, giving Steve’s arm a reassuring squeeze before leaning back and redirecting her attention to Sam and Bucky again with a smile. Steve continued to gaze at her with an expectant look and she caved after a moment with a light shrug. “He reacts uniquely with each of us,” she explained, “like he assessed us and chose carefully how to present himself for each individual. He'll laugh and go along with my banter, he's got his rivalry and arguments with Sam, all that."

Steve nodded as she paused to sip her drink again.

"With you, though.." she continued, looking at him with a cock of her head, as if considering something. "He's different around you. I've seen his demeanor change from day to day with you, yet he stays constant in his decided reactions with Sam and me."

"And you think that means he's more comfortable with me?" Steve asked, furrowing his brow.

Natasha shrugged. "I think he's being more authentic with you. He's still figuring himself out and he goes to a certain effort to hide that fact from Sam and me, putting on a very specific persona with us, but he's letting you see it more readily. I think that shows that he trusts you."

Steve hummed thoughtfully, looking down at his food. He'd never really noticed what Natasha suddenly made sound so obvious.

He was pulled from his thoughts again by the sound of Natasha's voice murmuring a soft, "Oh dear." Steve looked over and followed her line of sight just in time to catch Bucky smashing half of a roll into the side Sam's face, eliciting a defiant yelp from Sam.

Steve only shook his head, not wanting to see how this ended as both he and Natasha proceeded to tactfully ignore them and turn back to their own food. After a while of more arguing, food throwing and utensil dodging, Sam and Bucky had mostly settled down of their own accord by the time Steve and Natasha had quietly finished their own lunch. Sam was now sipping a drink loudly through a straw, looking directly at Bucky with an expectant glare while Bucky quietly ignored him, contently eating his successfully sauce free rolls. Both of them had crumbs stuck in their hair and clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah this chapter was... 100% self indulgent bc I needed some soft fluff and friendship (as if all fanfiction isn't self indulgent to an extent??)  
> It was going to be longer but then it ended up being Too long so I split it up, and also because the next couple chapters are gonna get un poco angsty so I’m saving that and letting this just be a lighter one oop  
> Anyways thanks for reading!!


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